The more time I spend watching someone else’s life unfold, the more I lose sight of my own reality. There are 365 days in a year. How much time do we spend wanting a life that was never meant for us?
Our culture has fooled us. The pretty picture is not always what it seems. The perfection is often curated, and it is killing us. Every. Single. Day. But you know, deep down, that those “perfect” people have real struggles, just like you. Don’t get caught up in their fake reality.
How many times have you seen someone post something and you instantly thought, “Man. I want that too!”?
At least a few times, right? You aren’t alone. We have all done it.
Almost immediately, I can be scrolling through Instagram; and suddenly, a post pops up—and I begin to think that what I have is inadequate in comparison to that perfectly-staged photo or video. If we dwell on that thinking, it is so easy to frequently be in a state of comparison. We start to compare everything that we see…and that is a slippery slope.
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The Right Now.
What would happen if we spent more time enjoying the right now? Would we discover that what we have is really enough? Relationships would thrive again, and love wouldn’t feel so forced or competitive. We could actually relax and breathe non-anxious air. Life isn’t always fair, and we don’t always get what we expect…but we have a tendency to add more drama than we need to; and sadly, we don’t always notice the beauty that is right before our eyes.
We compare our experiences with someone online and expect our spouses, family, and friends to act just like our favorite celebrity or a favorite “social noncelebrity bestie.” We say things like #relationshipgoals or #lifegoals in the captions of these highly staged shots and…get mad when our reality doesn’t match up. We cannot say things like “goals” for someone else’s life or moments unless we are definitely going to do everything that they are doing to achieve those “goals!”
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love sharing other people’s joy and accomplishments. But I also am in touch with my own reality.
We should think long and hard about what it means to give a compliment. A compliment should come from a sincere place. You shouldn’t start to feel bad about yourself and wish you had what that person has. Move on from that moment; don’t dwell or loathe.
It is human to want things to be different…but if you want something to change in your life, you cannot wish for it. You must take action! Action steps are “movements towards an attainable goal.” Set goals for yourself again.
- If you want to lose weight, write down your ideal weight and start a fitness plan.
- Maybe you want a happier relationship with your spouse. Write down what that looks like and start a marriage refresh plan.
- Wanting to start that business? Write the ideas down and seek counsel for how to begin.
These are action steps, and they will help you focus more on your life. Focusing on your life has the ability to transform how you see yourself, and you will be less inclined to be in competition with others. You will feel validated because you are taking the time to invest in the things that are really important to you.
It is so important to focus on the right now and not compare ourselves to celebrities and what they have. Their lives are not like ours, and that is okay. They have a specific purpose in life…and so do you.
Your presence in this world is valuable, and you are needed. If God wants to open big doors…He’ll do it! If God wants to use you locally…He’ll do it! Stay so close to God that your heart will always be satisfied with what God gives and what sometimes is taken away. When we know our purpose in life, we are less likely to fall in the comparison trap.
So I ask, do you know your purpose? Why does God keep waking you up each day?
If you don’t know, that’s okay! Ask God right now for that answer…and keep asking until He shows you.
Some great Scriptures about wisdom:
Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
James 1:5 (NIV) “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Proverbs 1:7 (NIV) “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
Proverbs 2:6 (NIV) “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
Be satisfied with what you already have. Enjoy the beauty that you see each day when you wake up. Have a grateful heart and attitude and that will spill over in other areas of your life.
Do enjoy others’ happiness…but don’t feel inadequate about your own life.
Change is good…but don’t feel like you have to change to compete with someone else.
Your lane is wide open…so stay in it and set it on fire! If you want to change, make sure the change is attainable and it is planned accurately.
Live right now 🙂
Tenia Hoskins
Tenia Hoskins is a Chicago-based freelance writer, a devoted wife of fifteen years, and a mother to three amazing children. She recently left her career in the dental field to pursue writing and music. Tenia Hoskins has a heart for women and mothers who face depression and anxiety. She is currently working on a series of devotionals to encourage weary souls and remind her readers of God’s joy and peace during the toughest seasons of life.
TENIA MARIE
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